My whole life I have struggled with my weight. From the earliest I can remember I had an extra layer of so-called Baby FAT, that singled me out from all of my peers. In all my school pictures, I was always the heaviest kid in the class. This difference really started to affect me from as early as about 3rd grade. I became self-conscious and my self-esteem started lowering.
This is also about the time that I developed an eating disorder. I wasn’t anorexic or bulimic (I loved food way too much and HATED the thought of vomiting). But I became an overeater and allowed food to be my best friend.
By the time I was in high school, I was 5’3″ and weighed close to 180 pounds. It was at this time that I tried my first real attempts at losing weight. I joined Weight Watchers with my sister and a friend, and we were all quite successful. I managed to get down to a weight, where I now blended in with school friends, instead of being the “large girl out”.
But this battle was far from over. By the time I was in my early 20’s my weight had ballooned to over 200 pounds. I shudder to think that I was heavier at this time than I was 9 months pregnant with all three of my daughters. On such a short frame, this was a lot of weight.
It wasn’t until after my first daughter was born that I really started researching proper nutrition and exercise lifestyles, that I was able to make a healthy transformation. But what started as healthy, eating super nutritious and exercising soon turned into another compulsion. I constantly wore a pedometer and was rigid about how much I exercised. I would often spend 2 hours a day exercising and even then I didn’t think I had done enough.
Then I got pregnant again and I relaxed my diet and allowed myself to enjoy my pregnancy. I went back up to close to 200 pounds again. After my second daughter was about 8 months old, the old exercise/get fit compulsion took over. I was obsessed with getting fit. I had a motto “130 by 30”. I was determined to get down to 130 by my 30th birthday.
At my lowest weight! 136 pounds.
I was training for my 5th 1/2 marathon at this time, looking and feeling fantastic (despite still not thinking I was achieving enough). I got down (my lowest ever as an adult) to 136 pounds. Looking back at pictures, I thought I looked amazing, but in reality I wasn’t satisfied.
I lost my “DD” chest and was at this time a saggy B. As a gift, my husband agreed to me getting a boob job, to restore my previous, large and glorious “Tatas”. Getting the boob job was probably one of the worst choices I ever made. If I could go back and change anything, it would be to never have done this surgery. It’s not that they didn’t look good, because they looked great, but because I started experiencing health issues I hadn’t previously had.
It was probably a coincidence in timing but a ton of anxiety, heartburn and other issues followed within a few weeks of my operation. I could no longer even think about health and fitness, because I was so stressed out thinking about my health, and being angry at myself for having the surgery.
Within a couple of years I gained back 30+ pounds and then I got pregnant, with my darling baby. Since I had already gained a lot of weight prior to my pregnancy, I did my best to not gain an exorbitant amount while pregnant. When I gave birth, I was still slightly under 200 pounds.
About 7 months pregnant.
After my daughter was born, I had one health problem after another. I ended up getting a capsular contracture in my left breast implant, which is basically scar tissue built up around the implant. This was from breastfeeding, and now give me a very lop sided appearance. So eventually, I’ll need to have my implants removed and I’m fine with that.
After dealing with multiple doctors making sure that it was only capsular contracture and not something more serious I now had new worries to deal with. I had back to back viruses that really dealt a blows to my immune system after rounds of antibiotics.
Suddenly I was dealing with a new illness that I’ve never had before. I had symptoms of something called silent reflux which is constantly having thick mucous at the back of my throat, constant throat clearing, and feeling like I always have something stuck in my throat.
This brings me to a couple of months ago where this new journey begins. I am determined to make myself happy and healthy. Researching all the time after different doctors told me they couldn’t find anything wrong with me. Determined that I have to fix the underline issue…because I cannot live like this for the rest of my life. I’m a firm believer that health issues are largely caused by what one is consuming.
So not knowing exactly what is causing my horrible post nasal drip symptoms, I believe it has something to do with my gut health. For the first time in my life, I’m not focused on my weight, but rather my health. I now will no longer measure progress by pounds on a scale (however that will be a bonus!), but rather by if my health returns to what it once was. I’m positive that I will be able to bring about a full recovery and make myself healthier than I’ve ever been.
I started first by trying a low fat/low acid diet but didn’t see enough progress with that diet, so it was back to the drawing board. I then tried a Paleo and no sugar diet for a couple of weeks. Between this and the low acid diet, I managed to drop about 20 pounds in a little under 2 months, with nothing else other than diet change. But these diets were super strict. Stricter than I’ve ever done before (even when I was training for 1/2 marathons.
A few days ago, I celebrated my 36th birthday and it was the first year I wasn’t able to celebrate with food. Imagine that, a celebration sans cake! Oh, it was so depressing. I sat eating dinner out at a restaurant, me only able to eat lettuce and a bit of grilled salmon, while my family all devoured what looked insanely good (even the red velvet birthday cupcake that was brought to the table).
After throwing a mini pity party for myself, I decided to put back on my big girl pants and try and research more to find something that would work to clear my symptoms and leave me feeling energized and happy. I didn’t enjoy the Paleo diet (coming from a vegetarian background). I wanted to go back to a non-meat type diet, but one that had results to cure what I believe is ailing me.
So I came across a diet called 80 10 10, which is a low fat raw vegan diet. The thought of being able to eat fruits made me do a happy dance and I figured it was worth a try. The other strict diets weren’t working, so I may as well give this one a go. I’m now on day 4 of this diet. I’m determined to give it at least 2-4 weeks and see how my symptoms go, before I make any other changes.
Jan 29, 2016
So far, I’m enjoying this food. I eat fruit all day and a big salad at night. It’s strict, but compared to what I had been eating, I feel like I’m at a heavenly buffet, munching on the fruit of the gods. I haven’t seen a subside in my symptoms however, so I’m cautiously observing before I get too in love with this eating plan.
I invite you to share in my journey to wellness. Please click the “FOLLOW” button if you’d like to have updates on me getting healthy, fit and well. I hope to be an encouragement to anyone else that may need it.